My (not so) Storybook Life by Liz Owen

For anyone out there that doesn’t know, Liz Owen’s book comes out this month and she is having a giveaway to celebrate.  Liz is bright, funny, and a great writer!   (I have been following her blog, Mabel’s House, since April of 2007 and feel like we are kindred spirits, only I’m a little older:)

Liz has posted an excerpt from the book on her blog and given permission for us to share it on our blogs.  Read the excerpt below and then go leave her a comment and wish her luck.  I am so excited for her!! 

If you want a chance to win an autographed copy of her book,  repost this on your blog and link back to her, then leave her a comment letting her know.

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Once one has breathed in the deep pungent aroma of sewage, you never again forget the nose-hair singeing, eye clawing, throat gagging experience. It comes over you slowly. You begin to feel like a character in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest as your muscles involuntarily jerk and you run screaming and blowing raspberries. Anything to get away from the mind-numbing stench.

But let me explain.

It was 6:30 a.m. I was standing in my retro pink tiled bathroom trying to open my bleary eyes and ready myself for work. As I stood there, peering into the mirror and wondering what demented nighttime fairy had planted four new wrinkles on my face, I paused and sniffed.

“Matt… what’s that smell?”

Matt staggered from the bedroom in his underwear, eyes half shut. “I don’t smell anything.”

I pointed my nose into the air like a hunting dog. “Seriously? You can’t smell that? Did you go to the bathroom in here earlier? I told you to use the room spray when you do things like that.”

Matt puffed out his bare chest and gathered his pride as best a man can with sleep in his eyes and a small hole in the side of his underwear. “I just woke up!”

I frowned, catching a glimpse of my makeup-less hot-rollers-in-hair state and tried not to think about the fact that I looked fifty instead of twenty-nine. “Well, help me figure this out. Because something smells ripe.”

We sniffed the sink drain and ruled it out as a suspect.

“Is it coming from the toilet?” Matt asked, examining it from top to bottom.

“No, that’s not it,” I snapped. I’m not known for my milk of human kindness in a disaster. Don’t get me wrong. I’m a survivor. I plan on eating my radish like Scarlet and clawing my way out of the nuclear dust while dragging my loved ones with me. But I won’t be doing it with positive phrases and a smile.

“Hon, I just don’t know. We’ll call a plumber after work, maybe it’s coming from under the house.” Matt staggered a little, trying to get past me and out of our tiny bathroom.

“Well, that’s just great,” I moved aside and pulled the shower curtain back so I could perch on the side of the tub and give Matt room to move out the door.

That’s when the full brunt of nastiness filled the air around us, a swirling mix of excrement and acrid stench that would have brought the sewer dwelling Ninja Turtles to their knees. Where the normally slightly-clean-with-a-hint-of-soap-scum bottom of the tub should have been, there sloshed gallons and gallons of brown sewage.

I clutched the front of my sweatshirt and held my breath. Matt began to dry heave.

“Get out and shut the door!” I screamed as we bumbled into the hallway.

“I’ll deal with this,” Matt grabbed my shoulders, trying to talk and hold his breath at the same time.

I could feel my eyes glaze over, the horrors of typhoid and hepatitis in our bathtub filling my mind. But more importantly, I could envision our evaporated savings account. In my mind’s eye I could see the long, gray hallway at the bank. A worker shrouded in a black suit pulled a set of keys from his pocket and unlatched a small locker labeled “Owen Bank Account.” Inside were two small stacks of quarters and a few crumpled dollar bills. It was bleak, not only because the banker with an unimaginative wardrobe gazed at me with an expression that could only be interpreted as “You’re a Big Fat Loser,” but also there was a very definite possibility we wouldn’t be able to pay for a plumber.

I wasn’t necessarily a spend thrift. In fact, I was downright frugal when it came to decorating with thrift store furniture and rewired vintage lamps. But the fact was, we were poor. We were starting out at starter jobs with starter salaries. We were starter adults with a starter bank account.

“Okay,” I nodded numbly, thankful that Matt was taking the lead on such a disastrous biohazard. “But make sure the plumber is super cheap. We don’t have much money!”

I left for work like a wino stumbling through a fog, not really remembering my commute, not really doing any work as I sipped my coffee and stared blankly at the computer screen. A disaster of such gargantuan proportions had previously been unthinkable in my life, and now I found myself attempting to push the image of a vast sea of bathtub poop from my mind. But I was sure of one thing: Anne Shirley never had to get ready for work while breathing raw sewage.

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Click  here  to get back to Liz’s blog.

 

Love, Pam

Where Bloggers Create

Welcome to China, Chintz and Roses! Thank you Karen, for hosting the "Where Bloggers Create 2011" Party!

I started this blog three years ago, when my husband and I moved from the west coast to the east coast of Florida. At that time, I planned to pursue all my creative interests including blogging. Alas, a full time job intervened, and three more years flew by in a flash. I am once again taking a sabbatical, and determined to reignite my creative passions. Enjoy taking a look around my craft room/office which I share with my sweet hubby.




Our office is immediately inside the front door to the right. I made a curtain to close off any messes from view :-)

This is the view straight ahead as you enter the room.

This is the view to the right, my side, as you can probably tell by what's on the walls!

This is the view to the left, including hubby's side. Our work surface is in the center set at an angle. We get better access to our respective storage by putting the table at an angle. I can also pivot my chair between the work surface and my sewing machine directly behind my chair.
(Just to keep it real, this surface is NEVER this clean on normal days - I cleaned up just for you :-) The work surface is a lovely wooden table that I found it at good will for $15. One leg had split and it was leaning, but the leg was easily fixed with some wood glue and a clamp.

As we turn to the right here is Chloe (the dress form) and my sewing machine. The rolling bins on the left store threads and sewing notions, current projects, glues, wrapping supplies, etc. Hubby made me a board that sets on top of the bins and my serger resides on this surface.

This window looks out on the front porch. Behind Chloe are some crosses I found
at various sales (mostly at Hobby Lobby) that I decided to hang together. My daughter and my mom laugh at how I can fill up a wall. I never start out with that goal, but a little wall space is a terrible thing to waste!



I love china, but these pieces are so small they don't show up well on a flat surface. I like the way they filled in this narrow bit of wall to the left of the window.

These are a few of my favorite things. My inspiration board is on top, my initials in the center, a bulletin board below that. Family pictures are on the right side, and the colorful buttons on the left are from our daughter's Solar Decathalon Project last year. The University of Florida Team won for best communications (the buttons were a huge hit in Spain!), and their house won the most energy efficient, and the online favorite. It was a once in a lifetime experience for her!

That is my serger under the ivory cover. I wanted one of these for 20 years before I finally bought it in 2002.

The overall view again of my side.

Panning left, a tv in the corner for HGTV shows while I'm working, or ball games while hubby's working. If we're working at the same time, we are company for each other :-).

There is no closet in this room, so these three bookshelves hold most of my fabric (a little more stashed under my bed), all my yarn, paints, more projects, and some office supplies and computer chords. I tried to take a closer photo of each shelf from right to left and top to bottom. The containers holding yarn, are from Sam's Club and originally had animal crackers in them. I peeled off labels and painted lids black to match.

Some pretty boxes I've had forever.

Containers holding fabric and paint.

This is hubby's shelf of collectible doo dads from our kids and his coaching days.

This is our son's first cover of Sports Illustrated. This was a compilation cover with over 100 photographers contributing, and we are VERY proud! His photo is to the right of the guys left leg (the leg on the right) even with where the white sock starts. (For a better sense of his work, you can go to his website.)

More of hubby's side, including scanner, printer, mail, file storage.

A treasured football signed by all the players of the last team he coached before we moved to this coast.

A shot of my beloved secretary desk. I got this about 18 years ago at a second hand furniture store for $100. It was very sturdy and well made, but the hottest pink you can picture! I used it as my desk for many years, but in this room it is a little tight if it's opened. It serves mostly as storage for now.

That brings us all the way back around to where we entered. This is a shot of the dining room across the entry from the office.

Thank you so much for coming by to visit. I can't wait to stop by your place!

Make sure to go back to My Desert Cottage and check out the other party participants!

Pam

Life keeps on chugging along!

Wow! I can't believe it has been a year and a half since I put up a post! Life just keeps on chugging along. Working full time is a killer and leaves me little time for anything else. However, one of my New Year's Resolutions was NOT to work so hard, so I'm going to start trying to adhere to that (hey it's only April, I've still got 8 months to make those New Year's Resolutions come true!) LOL I also need to tackle that diet one, but that will be another day!

Updates:

Our beautiful daughter received her bachelor's degree last May and graduated summa cum laude. Congratulations, Rachel! She started graduate school in the fall and turns 24 this coming Friday. Happy Birthday sweet girl!

Our son is in his Junior year of college, turned 21 last October, and is now an internationally published photo-journalist. Yay Reid!

Dave and I are just getting older! LOL Loving on our last little one at home - the precious baby dog, Kissy Belle, who turns 9 years old in May!

I still get around and keep up with about 40 blogs every week. I just don't comment often because that takes time! I've noticed that some of the bloggers that posted every day, stop sometimes and take extended breaks and I'm always glad when they come back and start posting again. So, I'm still here, enjoying hearing about the details of your lives, just in a tongue tied mode myself. Thanks for being around.

Pam

Reddy Boy - Rest in Peace

Redford, about six months ago, waiting on me to quit taking his picture and love on him.
Our Sweet Redford went to Heaven on Wednesday - yes I know there is plenty of debate on whether animals are in Heaven, but I prefer to think of him there.


He was 15 and had a very long, happy cat life, but the decline at the end seemed sudden to us. Just months ago, he still chased the dog around the house daily.


After watching him suffer more than he should have, Dave took him to the vet on Wednesday. As they were driving, Dave was talking to him telling him what a good boy he's always been. He told him that he would be with Misty soon, our other kitty (known for her cantankerous personality) that died six years ago. Redford (who was very weak at this point) lifted his head straight up and looked Dave right in the eye. Dave quickly added, "the nice Misty, she's in heaven so she's sweet," and Redford plopped his head back down and relaxed.


I'm always amazed at how much human understanding animals have, especially at the end.


Rest in Peace, Reddy, our little lover boy. We'll miss you!!

Happy Birthday Mom

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE BEST MOM EVER!!

Your love and support mean more to us than we can ever express. We hope you have a wonderful day! Who we are is a direct reflection of who you are. We love you!

Pam, Dave, Rachel, & Reid

Happy 20th Birthday Reid!

Today is another very, very special day in our family. Today is Reid’s 20th Birthday. This is Pam’s husband Dave back for another guest appearance. Happy Birthday, Reid! 20 years ago today seems like yesterday. When you were born, a new dynamic was introduced into our family, the laid back, nothing really bothers me, and I’m secretly going to bother Rachel until she gets in trouble, attitude.

All throughout your life, you just make it easy and fun to hang out with you. Your curious ways and your funny sayings (“Reidisms”) have kept us in stitches.

Mom and I have always enjoyed watching the many activities that you have been involved with, from tee-ball, to skateboarding, to the saxophone and guitars, through drama, and now at FSU. Everything that you have attempted, you have willed yourself to master it. It always amazes me (and still does) the time and energy you put into things in order to accomplish them. Don’t ever lose that passion to master new things.

I’ve always looked forward to hanging out with you. You were always there to participate in our week family fun time, Grocery shopping and always willing to go out and shoot hoops in the front yard. One thing I can definitely say, is that I enjoy both yours and Rachel’s company. Life is not that bad when you guys are around.

Happy Birthday, Dude. You definitely rock! You are someone that mom and I are extremely proud of. Go ‘Noles! We love you!Mom, Dad, Rachel, REDDY Boy, Kisses, and of course Misty (may her soul rest in peace alleluhia!)

Florida Summer

I don't know if I'll ever successfully manage to work full time and blog regularly. I'm so in awe of those of you that do both so well! I do manage to get around and check blogs every couple of days, but I feel too drained most days to think up a post!

We are full into the heat of the summer here in Florida. We pay for those lovely winter months with 6 months of scorching heat! At least it has started raining, so the fire hazard has dropped from high alert.

As long as I have lived on the west coast of Florida, we have had afternoon thunder showers in the summer. These are full out deluges, where the sky turns black, and the heavens open up. My new neighbors said it hasn't rained like that on this coast for the last few years. About three weeks ago, the rains came. I'm thrilled that the old weather pattern returned in time to make me feel at home!

We also have a crepe myrtle bush in our yard. It is a very late bloomer. Most of the other crepe myrtles in town are full of blooms, whereas ours is just filling out enough to tell it is a crepe myrtle. Regardless of its pokiness, I feel very blessed - this is a bush I always enjoyed from afar and longed to have someday. We have no mature trees in this area, as this part of our town was ravaged by wildfires 10 years ago. Being a tree lover, this has been an adjustment, however, the beautiful pink blossoms on my crepe myrtle are a soothing balm to my soul. Thank you God, for your blessings!